Truth, Lies, and Hearsay: A Therapeutic Outlet

2011-05-02T10:23:00.001-04:00

I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure. - Mark Twain

2010-12-30T13:13:00.003-05:00

"You are neither responsible for his tantrums nor for stopping them. The "goodness" of your baby is not a reflection on your parenting ability. Tantrums are common when a baby starts to strive for independence. "

THANK YOU DR. SEARS!!!!

(PS- I have no idea who these people are - but the look on that dad/grandpa's? (?) face says it all)

Sappy Post Alert

2010-11-12T10:26:00.009-05:00

In case you haven't heard, we are moving to Chicago. As I pack my life away, I wonder what I will miss the most about this house or rather what is the ONLY thing I will miss about this house (aside from the memories)? Easy. Ben's nursery. How can one room have such a lasting effect on someone? Afterall, it's a room in a house. But this isn't just any old room. This is a room that was created out of L-O-V-E. Cheesy, yes, but oh so true. Before even the thought of Ben, his room was the worst in the house. A haven for every piece of crap I couldn't find a real home for (or that I couldn't throw away). When I became pregnant with Ben, I had vivid visions for that space. Before we knew he was a boy, I sketched the entire room down to the details of the pictures in a notebook (full color and all!). I spent many pregnant hours in that room sitting, painting, thinking, looking at baby clothes, dreaming in the glider... wondering what my life was going to be like once there was a real live baby to put in the crib. I wasn't the only one though. So many people came out to help us with this room- because as I mentioned, it was the worst in the house and needed a lot of help! The stripes on the wall were painted by my talented niece, the chair rail installed by my brother(s)-in law, the carpet ripped up and hard wood floor sanded and stained by my husband, brother-in law, and friend. Fan and light fixture installed by a friend, window treatment sewn by grandma, pictures of friends and family in the hospital with their babies carefully chosen, framed, and hung by me. Every clothing item and diaper that filled the drawers were bought for us by someone who cared. It was truly a room filled with love! There's no non-cheesy way to say it. And now, we leave it behind. It will only exist in the pictures that I show Ben one day. I hope it gives someone else as much happiness as it gave us.

A Blog via Blog

2010-11-05T09:50:00.005-04:00

My Son is Gay

Do yourself a favor and read this blog post if you haven't already. Bad Ass is the only way I would describe that mom.

Although I don't at all relate to her as my son is *almost* 16 months old, I sadly have already heard comments regarding my BABY when I take out his pink sippy cup (it was the only one they had!), when I let him wear mardi gras beads, and was recently ridiculed because he doesn't own any trucks. Ok ridiculed is a slight exaggeration. BUT to those who think that girls should play with Barbies and boys with guns- keep eating your own boogers.

I have a Toddler.

2010-10-13T14:54:00.002-04:00

I just read over my rant a few months back regarding unruly toddler monsters and moms who don't watch them. I *might* should probably kick my own ass for being ignorant to the world of mothers w/ toddlers. I learned a lot from being in a music class over the summer with the only mobile child. It's effing hard. I get it now. BUT there's still no excuse to turn your cheek and let them run around like maniacs or think other people are watching them because they are simply in the same room as you OR think it's ok to let them mess with things that aren't theirs- like my diaper bag. Get your snot nosed toddler monsters away from me!!!!!!! I have my own snot nosed toddler monster to deal with! Sheesh.

Please Give it Up For a Cute Baby (even if he is photoshopped)

2010-05-16T07:56:00.001-04:00

Totally sappy and not my style, but damn it makes me teary eyed every time I read it.

2010-04-29T21:34:00.005-04:00

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .

UH-MAZING

2010-04-15T15:31:00.004-04:00

Rainbow Pancake

Recipe courtesy of Amanda Rettke
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 1/4 cups milk
1 egg
3 tablespoons butter, melted
1 tablespoon flax seed
1-6 drops food coloring per color choice (I use gel coloring, which requires a fraction of the amount of
regular food coloring)
Directions:
In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt ,sugar, and flax seed. Make a well in the center
and pour in the milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth.
Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle,
using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

Attention Non Attentive Moms of Walking Children

2010-03-17T15:06:00.005-04:00

Warning: Rant Ahead!

First let me begin by saying I am a mom of a non-walking child (for maybe a couple of more months). I don't live in your shoes. I don't know, yet, what it's like to run after a kid on their feet. However, I do comprehend the meaning of 'annoying' and 'lack of discipline'.... and when you let your kid run around like a maniac in a social setting harassing people around them, it's all I can do to keep myself from tripping your precious snot nosed ankle biter! It is annoying when I take my infant child to story time at the library and you let your walking child run around the room while my baby is trying to pay attention (ie: stare) at the lady reading the book. It is annoying when your walking child has found his/her way to my diaper bag where they start taking stuff out of it forcing me to deal w/ your child while you sit clueless on the other side of the room (again, during story time). It is annoying when your walking child is climbing on everything and causing a rucus (yes, during story time!!). Why are you even AT the library? Better yet why are you crashing the infant class where the good moms are sitting on the floor with their kids listening and singing songs w/ Mother Goose? (the lady who runs Tiny Tales- her name not mine!). Oooooh, I know why... because this is your time to socialize with OTHER moms who are there not watching their walking children...I get it. Here's a thought, either put your kids on a leash, or teach them how to act in a library. That does not include ripping books off shleves and throwing them on to the floor, climbing up on stacks of chairs, and/ or running and being loud. Yes, I realize they are just "babies" and don't "know better" but ......um........when do you think would be an appropriate time to teach them? Just sayin. Believe me, I am not on a high horse here... my kid can be just as annoying- but when it becomes an issue of me not being able to control it, I TAKE MY KID OUTSIDE. This is not an occurance that exists only inside library walls...no, no..... this happens at the park, at the grocery store, bookstores, starbucks, the list goes on. I think a lot of this mommy angst stems from being a teacher of 8-9 year olds where the annoyance factor runs HIGH and if you don't nip those annoying behaviors as soon as they start, then it's like letting the genie out of the bottle. So please non-attentive moms of walking children, do us other moms a favor and take your kids to a chic fil a playplace where you can sit inside and ignore how annoying your child is being toward other adults and children through the glass....because why waste the time and energy of actually TEACHING them?

Sincerely,
Short Fuse

2009-10-16T09:15:00.008-04:00

Today's Realization:

2009-03-10T17:49:00.002-04:00

I'm fucking fat. The End.

2009-02-06T16:22:00.002-05:00

Status Update. Mirror to the Soul

2009-01-21T16:00:00.016-05:00

I am a Facebooker by way of Myspace. I guess I am a Myspace transplant. Like many of you, I too, began my superficial 'networking' journey on Myspace and have since moved on to bigger and better things as Myspace slowly began to become what I consider Daytona Beach during Spring Break. There is a certain " jiffy sto' " ickiness I feel when I sign in (yes I still have an account of course!) that I have been forced to focus all my time and energy into Facebooking. If you don't participate in either Myspace or Facebook then you might as well stop reading because you're lame! (or is it the other way around?). If you facebook religiously, then you will know up front that it's all about the status update, pictures, and the comments you generate by both your status update and pictures. Yea yea, you can write on peoples' walls and check out their personal info- but face it, we hardly do that--

I am serious when I say I have never felt such a variety of emotions from the written word. Nothing makes my blood boil more than an idiotic status on Facebook... in addition to those that are just plain entertaining, those that spark jealousy, comments that are made by the vain, the list goes on. I have come to realize that despite the superficial aspect of just saying what's going on in your life at that moment in time, there lies a deeper more intimate meaning whether you realize it or not. Chronic status updaters fall into different categories depending on the frequency of the update, message conveyed, conventions (mis)used, overall vibe, and/or comment conversations/debates they generate.

People who update their status every 15 minutes are annoying. Yes, you are. You are basically telling everyone that 1) you have no life, 2) you don't have a job, 3) you don't have many (if any) interpersonal relationships, and/or 4) you are trying too hard to give off the vibe that you lead an interesting life because you're so *busy*-- newsflash: You are probably a loser.

Category 2 involves those who have the majority of their updates referring to something they have... something they've bought...something that was bought for them...someplace fabulous they are....some place fabulous they're are going, or whatever is truly fabulous about THEM. This category has the tendency to entice the most comments from your groupies who "ooh and aaah" over how freaking fabulous you are- which of course, you LOVE and is the reason you post to begin with, right?

Category 3 includes those who post simply to start a buzz. Making a random political comment, an off color joke, insulting something that most people care about, yada yada yada. Either you are starved for attention (good or bad), or you are some nutcase who has off the wall beliefs in which case you, for some reason, enjoy making the whole world aware of. The crazies of the world are always the most vocal and obnoxious. Just look at Gator fans (no offense Gator friends teehee). Basically, you use your update privilege as a platform for your idiotic conflict/conversation starters because you have no life. Of course you are only idiotic if I happen to disagree.

Category 4 is just your random funny expression, observation on life at the moment, fodder for those who like to chuckle and move on. No real feeling or meaning behind any of it. A random food craving... a comment about some freak at your office, unruly customers, your stupid boss, looking forward to something...I love you the most. Thank you for keeping things superficial as they should be!

Category 5 is the weirdo category. Those comments that you read and just say "huh"? Perhaps poetic.... random (in a creepy weird way)... deep thoughts that aren't meant to be funny... there aren't that many of you (thank God), but we all know them- the *wannabe introspective* weirdos.

I'm sure there are others that I have forgotten or just not cared enough about to include, but this is a good start. Which category are you? Never mind, no need to say. I already know! Time to update my status.

The Price is Wrong, Bitch.

2008-10-23T19:30:00.009-04:00

You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound... but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop.......... daytime television! Dip deep into the black hole of your memory and remember a time when getting to stay home "sick" from school was not only a rare happening, but a day cherished by vegging on the couch with free reign over the television and ice box. To this day when I think of staying home "sick" I immediately hear the Andy Griffith whistle playing over and and over in my mind- the show I only knew existed in the obscure world daytime television. As quickly as I remember the tune, I remember quickly changing the channel because I actually hated that show. Instead I would allow myself to become immersed in the fantasy land of daytime game shows. Among the upper echelon of this genre was of course, The Price is Right. While most awkward girls my age might fantasize about being one of the glamorous Barker Beauties, I instead dreamed of being that random audience member chosen by Rod Roddy because of my sparkling personality and/or uniquely designed homemade T-shirt expressing my love for Bob Barker and his skinny microphone. After all, he would love me too, impressed by my vast knowledge of the prices of toaster ovens and Cadillacs alike. The chance to dominate on plinko and win BOTH showcase showdowns were of course delusions of grandeur.....but they were nonetheless, MY delusions... delusions that now only exist in my memory.... delusions that I hoped to rekindle while staying home from school "sick" this week, but instead got a big fat idiot standing in the way of memory lane... that fat idiot being Drew Carey of course. I know I am like a year and a half late to this train wreck, but as I sat and watched Mr. Carey's despicable attempt in hosting a show that I hold so dear to my heart, I couldn't help but wonder why he thought he could fill the shoes of the greatest game show host of all time with his stupid laid back nonchalant demeanor, beady eyes, and patronizing phony giggles!! There is no connection between you and the guests Drew....there is no love, nobody wears a 'I heart Drew' shirt and nobody wants you holding that skinny microphone! It's all a CROCK!! A SHAM! A travesty to sick kids staying home from school everywhere!!! You are no Jay Peterman and you should be ashamed of yourself! That is all.

Get Me One Please.

2008-08-07T17:42:00.008-04:00

Just another fabulous reason to live in New York City- where in Orlando can you find a bakery that specializes in conecakes???? Apparently this delightful treat is making a mighty comeback and they couldn't be more up my alley, oKAY?! Here's how you make them:

For 12 or more servings

Ingredients:
1 box of cake mix (plus eggs, oil, water - see box for quantities)
flat bottomed ice cream cones
icing
decorations

Directions:
Follow the directions for cake mix. Stand one cone each in a muffin pan hole (usually 12). Fill the ice cream cones 3/4 full with cake batter. Bake according to the cake mix directions. When done, remove and cool completely. Ice the tops of the cones and decorate!

Other suggestions and comments:
Note: Watch the cake rise, sometimes a few cones may start to bubble over; take a toothpick and poke it down, it's less sloppy that way.

All I have to say is my kids are going to have the best teacher EVER this year!!!!!

Dear Bacon,

2008-07-26T11:14:00.003-04:00

Even though I hate to touch you when you’re in the raw
When I cook you up to a perfect crisp, you’re anything but blah.
I enjoy you most with peanut butter which many think is gross
I crave the sweet and salty deliciousness between some whole wheat toast
Even though you spit at me and like to burn my hand
You make me fat, my stove a mess, but my kitchen can withstand
The hatred that you have for me as I burn you to perfection
Little do you know my dear oven mitt offers great protection
Don’t worry sweet bacon; you’ll live your life snug inside my freezer
Until a recipe calls for your awesomeness – then you’ll become a crowd pleaser.

This poem is dedicated to my husband and all bacon lovers out there. Holla.

Life is Sweet.

2008-07-26T10:39:00.003-04:00

I found this pic a long time ago and just recently came across it again. Pretty much sums up everything doesn't it? It's a great day to be a woman!!!....

A serious rant. I promise it won't happen often.

2008-06-19T11:35:00.009-04:00

As I was watching a friend open gifts at her babyshower this past weekend, I had an intense flashback, and I haven't been able to shake it since. I hope that by writing this public post it will somehow help me deal with what has been a private issue.

The flashback that I encountered was from my own wedding shower (2.5 years ago!) where I sat and opened gift after gift in front of the ones I love the most. If you're a woman and have been involved in a wedding shower, I'm sure you know the ol' "for every ribbon you snap, that's how many kids you will have! ha ha ha". I remember very well that I was careful not to snap a single one. Ever. Not one. KIDS?!?! Screw that... was my thought.

Flashforward 2.5 years to my girlfriend's babyshower where I stood watching her open gifts-- I was stricken with panic that I somehow jinxed myself for life.

It's been 18 months, thousands of dollars, and what seems like countless doctors visits since Matt and I put the green light on wanting to start a family. That's 540 days of analyzing, calculating, hoping, reading, researching, wondering, praying, pleading, crying..... all for what? 18 months later we have nothing to show for it other than a thick medical file, a lengthy credit card statement, and a lot of pent up resentment. This news may come as a surprise to some close to me- but I feel as I travel down this road of.................. INFERTILITY (there, I SAID it...breathe), I somehow feel comforted knowing that I am able to talk (type) about my issue and have people understand how I feel (or at least try to- which believe me, helps tremendously).

Please know, I am NOT on a "whoa is me" train to "my-life-is-over-ville" (At least not at the moment). I had a rough day and simply needed to put words with my thoughts. I understand that many have it worse than me, but I also see the crackhead down the street with her 47 barefooted children, so what the fuck.

Bottom line: NOBODY...NOBODY should live with the fear that they will never be able to have their own biological children and that's precisely where I reside. Now where is my glass of wine?????

Suck it Quiznos

2008-04-10T18:39:00.006-04:00

I've always had a distaste for the Quiznos franchise. I like to consider myself somewhat of a sandwich connoisseur- a sub fanatic, a hoagie extraordinaire. Going to an establishment such as Quiznos is about as infrequent as I wear lingerie these days......

Every once in a while I like to give places such as these a fair chance, so I stopped into one to grab a turkey sub on a desperate afternoon. I walked in and read the menu. It was loaded up with all sorts of specialty sandwiches- none of which fit my fancy. I am a bit of a picky eater I suppose- I like only a few items on a turkey sub and I hate condiments (much to the dismay of Edna - the sub lady at my local publix- much love, Edna!). So I ask what I believe to be a perfectly normal question: Can I make my own sub? To which the cold hearted skank..er girl behind the counter replied: why would you want to do that? Um.... because I don't like any of the 'creative' sub choices you have on the menu!?!?! to which she utters the magical phrase in her most annoying 80's valley girl voice "Well, this really isn't Subway ya know".

The absolute retardedness (new word alert) of her 'justification' for not wanting to make me a custom turkey sub resulted in my COMPLETE AND TOTAL HATRED FOR THE QUIZNOS FRANCHISE and my vow NEVER TO STEP FOOT IN ANOTHER CRAPPY STOREFRONT AGAIN. You insulted this bread, turkey, cheese, lettuce, onion, and a dab of oil, sub eater!

So a big SUCK IT to you, Quiznos. I'd go to Subway any day over your pathetic "mmmm..toasty" lame-slogan-havin'-chiponyourshoulder-valleygirlhiring-nonaccomodating -preservativestuffed-wannabesubshop.

"Still Here, Out Smoking"

2008-02-02T13:45:00.001-05:00

OK-- I am not going to lie and say that I have never enjoyed a nice cancer stick while downing a few cocktails over the years, but I AM going to complain about smokers who think they have the the right to occupy two areas in a restaurant JUST because they happen to have a nicotine craving. Last night, I wanted a margarita (well, another margarita)!! We stopped at a bar/restaurant so that I could fulfill my craving. It was 7:30ish and prime Orlando-time to eat. I had already eaten so all I wanted to do was sit at the bar and enjoy a cold mind-altering beverage. I walk in, the bar is PACKED........ except far in the distance, I see a glimmer of hope! Two empty chairs at the opposite end of the bar near the bathroom. YES!!! seeeeeee.... God WANTS me to have a margarita. That is, until I reach the empty seats just to see a sign reading: STILL HERE. OUT SMOKING. What the fuuuuuuuuuuck?! That's IT people: I say it's time to revolt!! If you're a smoker you will just have to accept the fact that your seat will be given up if you HAVE to go outside and inhale tobacco. Plain and simple. Nothing against you as a person- but damn... restaurants should not allow you to occupy two seats for you to bounce back and forth as you please. How I wanted to sit in your seat and wait for your return you greedy greedy smokers.... I hope you know how close you were to my buzzed wrath.

2007-11-03T10:41:00.000-04:00

I'm convinced that some people talk just for the pleasure of hearing their own voices. Thinking aloud, making odd gestures and noises, pulling movie quotes out of their ass when it's not relevant to the conversation at hand (or any conversation had in the last 2 years), and my personal favorite: asking questions that any conscious living person could figure out on their own should they have half a brain. Such questions include, but are not limited to, "Where's the milk?" and "what happened to my shoes?". One might think these are natural questions to inquire about.........after one has been SEARCHING for these items for quite some time. But when they are asked while your ass is sitting on the couch or while in a part of the house they would not be (say, the bathroom or the driveway), then it causes the listener to naturally fume with rage.

Perhaps your shoes are in the closet where most normal people house their shoes. And just maybe the keys are on the key rack that has been hanging by our door for 2 years. Could it be possible that the milk is in the fucking refrigerator?

Flush it Down, Brown.

2007-08-01T09:09:00.000-04:00

My cat likes to drink out of the effing toilet because apparently he does not like his water bowl that I clean and refill with fresh filtered water every freaking day.

Why can't I drink the fresh water either? It's given to me everyday.... but I generally opt for the toilet, too. Rather than taking and running with what is given to me free of charge, I keep seeking out the filth that just makes me rotten inside. Am I conditioned that way? was it learned? I don't know. I need to stop drinking from the toilet.

I have GOT to learn Photoshop!

2007-07-17T14:07:00.001-04:00

Thanks to Paul, I do own Photoshop, but dang... I can't work this type of magic yet!! I need to get with the program. Oh and by the way.... does Faith really look THAT bad in the original photo???? Sweet Jesus.

Marketing Geniuses!

2007-07-04T09:46:00.001-04:00

So for those of you without the pleasure of receiving my myspace bulletin, here is a gem that I found yesterday: A "Kwik-E-Mart"!! Technically a transformed 7-11 in an (awesome) attempt to promote the upcoming Simpsons movie. There are only 11 of them in the US and one of them is here in Orlando. I just happened to drive by it yesterday and had to turn around for a picture. They sell Buzz Cola, Krusty-Os cereal, pink frosted donuts, and slushies-- sadly, I could not find any Duff Beer. Regardless, how cool is this?

No Grunting Allowed

2007-06-23T14:08:00.000-04:00

Somewhere, some place in any gym you go to you will see a sign that explains that loud noises and/or swearing is disruptive to others trying to work out around you. You'd THINK that this was common sense-- who REALLY grunts while they work out?!?!? I mean, besides the creepy bald guy at MY gym... who, despite, the posted "no grunts, swearing, loud noises" allowed sign, continues to make the most offensive noises while he is bench pressing. I swear he is doing it on purpose... nobody makes those sounds uncontrollably.... do they?? and is it a coincidence that he just happens to always be on machine near ME?!? I hate you bald creepy grunting bastard, I hate you!

P.S. I googled creepy gym guy and up came this pic of carrot top.... what a FREAK!

Lookie at what I found!

2007-06-15T15:46:00.000-04:00

Just randomly growing in my yard!!! Pink Lillies!!!!

"Hey, snakes were fuckin' demselves long before Adam and Eve showed up, T"

2007-06-10T11:59:00.000-04:00

sigh, Paulie... I will miss your insight most of all. R.I.P. Sopranos.

White Pizza??? White LIE!

2007-06-08T10:05:00.000-04:00

I'm pissed. I never ever ever order out. The other night I wanted pizza like nobody's business. We have a Donatos around the corner and it was pouring out so we figured that was the most convenient. I logged onto their website- the fact that they spelled "tomatoe" wrong should have been a red flag, but I pushed on. To my delight I saw individual WHITE pizzas!!! My favorite kind that I never ever get to have because Matt likes all the meats and nobody can do a half white half regular pizza... so I was in heaven. For once, we BOTH get what we truly want! The pizza arrives and this is what it looks like. What a pathetic attempt at creating the divine white pizza. This is simply cheese and freaking bread ok?! A WHITE pizza has WHITE cheeses bubbling out of every pore. This only had mozzarella!!! Not even any garlic, WTF?!?! Talk about metaphor for my life. I never allow myself to really have what I want (ie: pizza all the time), and the ONE time I order out and actually order what I really really want, this piece of crap is what I get instead. Poetic.

BillyD = Billy Douche

2007-06-07T16:37:00.000-04:00

My quasi-cousin Paul created this to use in his photoshop class that he teaches. What a pussy. (Billy D, not Paul)

Just Say No...

2007-06-02T18:35:00.001-04:00

To roaches!! Oh my GOD, GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was thinking today on my way to Barb's BBQ as I saw countless love bugs splatter on our windshield... why do we regard SOME bugs as "acceptable" or even "cute" (ok, maybe it's just me). As in love bugs.... I mean, who hasn't caught a love bug in their lifetime? Or how about a lady bug... roly poly? What makes us think that some bugs have a place in our society? while others are vile creatures who deserve a painful neurological death by way of Raid? Have you ever 'raid'ed a lady bug? I don't think so. Is it because they have cute names? Why are roaches so disgusting????? Why when I see one in my kitchen, I almost faint? As my friend Pete once said, "I would jump through fire to escape a flying cockroach". I concur. I shutter just looking at this cartoon image. Are they really vile creatures, or have we been trained to think that way? Ugh. I hate them.

Get Lost...

2007-05-31T22:31:00.000-04:00

I did!!! So it started a few weeks ago when Matt said he wanted to start watching LOST. I refused. I simply don't have time to pick up a TV show after it's been on for like 3 seasons!!! Then I remembered something interesting: I have nothing BUT time, so I said OK. That was three days ago. In the past 72 hours, I have spent about 24 of those hours sleeping, and 12 of those hours curled up on the couch watching Season 1 and I'm only like 1/3 of the way through! There are SEVEN disks to Season 1!! After the first disk was over, I demanded more. Our blockbuster didn't have it, so we had to drive to another one. Thank God they had disc 2 and 3. Finished Disk 3 tonight. Just 16 more hours left of Season 1, then I will move onto Season 2. I think I'm an addict. Now I feel like I have my foot in the door of the exclusive club of LOST watchers. You know those people.... who are always asking, "hey dude, do you watch Lost?". I would be willing to bet either YOU have asked that question to someone, or someone has asked that question of YOU. Now you can ask ME!!! but please wait at least 150 more hours.

You're Invited to a....

2007-05-22T17:42:00.000-04:00

B.Y.O.C. (complaint)! Here's mine: Both Matt and I graduated from good schools, we work hard, pay our bills, are fully involved in our own careers, and we have no children. So… why am I watching a television set that is 15 years old that used to belong to my mother? Why, as I type this post, am I sitting on a broken ass couch? Why do I put my clothes away in a dresser set that used to belong to my sister in 1985? Why do I sit on a vanity stool (also passed down by my mother) that doubles as my cat’s stratching post, and why is my shoe holder propped up with a hanger? I will stop there because I honestly just threw up in my mouth a little. So please tell me. Why can’t I afford better things? Why do people I know purchase a new bedroom set every single time they move? Why do they have granite counter tops? They barely have jobs. Will there ever be a time when I look around the house and see NOTHING that used to belong to someone else?

El Avocado Preciado :)

2007-05-20T14:47:00.000-04:00

Dearest Avocado, where have you been all my life?! As I get oldER, I am finding that I am craving foods I've always told myself I hated.

Recent discoveries include (not limited to) beans (black, refried), black eyed peas, and red wine vinegar. Some weird force drew me to these foods like a pregnant lady to pickles- I couldn't describe it. Now-- there are some foods that I will never go near despite how badly my body wants to try them: mayo, sour cream, mustard, jelly, seafood. Mainly because I want to gag when I think about them, but also because I am a teenie bit afraid I will like them, and I kinda like things the way they are.

So anyway, my latest revelation: AVOCADOS. I heart them!! on everything- and I absolutely cannot get enough of guacamole- not the creamy dip kind, but the chunky mashed up avocado"y" kind with peppers, onions, cilantro. Here is a good (and simple) recipe I've found that I make often. I am still searching for others. This one claims to be the Chipotle recipe (which undeniably has the BEST guac ever!) but sadly it's not as good... but still my go-to recipe at home. Got a guac recipe to share?

1 large ripe avocado peeled,pitted (I use two smaller avocados)
2 teaspoons fresh lime juice
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro

1/4 cup finely chopped onions
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
2 large serrano chilies, seeded,chopped (poblano peppers work good, too!)
1/4 teaspoon salt

Mash up avocado with a fork or electric mixer.
Add lime juice.
Add all other ingredients and blend well.
Serve with tortilla chips (lime flavored are yummy!!)

I'm a Fab Summer Wife...

2007-05-14T20:28:00.000-04:00

It's just during the year I suck. I didn't really realize this until I started noticing how much Matt kept referring to how great the "summer" will be.... and won't it be nice when I am out for "summer" And "summer" can't come soon enough... and well, you get the idea. The sad part is, he's right. Summer WILL be great. I will be home, decorating and updating our house, cooking dinner, tending to the childre... I mean cat, doing crafts, reading, actually paying attention to my husband! I can't wait to get back on track. Summer-wife RULES!

Mother's Day + Heart Pendants = Why?

2007-05-12T20:20:00.000-04:00

Why is Mother's Day synonymous with buying busted gold heart pendants?!?!?! Seriously...the mall jewelry stores must plan all year for their annual ug*i*ly heart necklace campaign. How WILL they outdo their competition?! Zales knows! A heart with a mother and child IN the pendant... brilliant.

Pollination is an important step in the reproduction of seed plants... or so says Wikipedia.

2007-05-12T18:44:00.000-04:00

Pollination seems pretty simple to me. I mean, if there's pollen waiting to be moved, a willing pollinator waiting to move it, and a receptive flower stigma... then what is the problem? I'll tell you the problem: pollinators such as bees, butterflies, hummingbirds, moths, some flies, some wasps, and nectar feeding bats don't know and/or don't give two craps how much plants benefit from their unique miraculous maneuvers. They are just selfishly concerned with meeting their own energy requirements for survival. They are painfully unaware that part of their existence is to be spent fertilizing these flowers in order to help them develop seeds. There is no communication between the pollinator and the pollinated. I look outside and I don't see any bees, wasps, nectar feeding bats. Instead I see a bunch of lonely flowers who will never get the opportunity to develop seeds...